*excerpt from my really awesome, yet untitled book
September 13, 2020
After polishing my “worlds greatest mother” trophy, I’m not sure if I’ll place it on our mantle above the fireplace, or if I’ll put it on my bedside table. I mean, considering that two out of our four children, the only two currently in school, are currently, only five weeks into the new school year, both starting an intervention program- I’m sure expecting and new moms will be lining up down the block to get my parenting advice.
After my previous rant, I of course, heard from the school. Fortunately, there was a misunderstanding, furthering the understanding of just how difficult communication can be. And well, of course, providing additional explanation regarding Ace’s behavior and discipline. While I was strolling, frustrated that it took me so many hours to hear from the school, I also have to know that, considering the capacity of the school, and the fairly lack of emergency regarding the situation, most likely equating to the school handling the situation adequately, and- me overreacting. Probably meaning that I turned into some variance of helicopter mama-bear. You know, the very label I never wanted to hold. Yet, hear I am- wearing the “hello my name is” sticker labeled just that.
As a teacher, and well, even as a slightly embarrassed mother, I am grateful that Ace will be provided the opportunity to be a part of a friendship group. While, Inevitably I feel like a complete failure, I know in my heart that Ace- or anyone developing skills to be a better friend, are vastly important. The failure part comes in because I can’t help wonder why the hell he hasn’t yet obtained these skills. He’s been properly socialized, or I mean, at least that sounds like the appropriate term. He’s gone to preschool, he has siblings, and he has two parents who are educated and work intentionally on providing him with attention, love and thoughtful involvement. On paper we’ve done it all right, yet in the real world, Ace- no, all of our children are struggling from time to time, and while my first instinct is to wonder where I’m dropping the ball, I do acknowledge that we are raising tiny humans. Tiny humans that in fact grow up to be big humans, but human nonetheless; humans with real emotions, real struggles and real things to learn and experience. It is both daunting and incredible that these tiny humans literally need to be taught everything. With so much of the world being nurtured, rather than just nature (or at least nurture to influence or manage nature), it is wonderfully terrifying to think of the impact you have on these real people everyday.
So ya know, if you need me- I’ll be over here trying to digest how to love the hell out of these kids, without completely screwing them up, or completely losing my mind.
Three Princes and a Sweet Pea 